It shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that yours truly was born in a hurricane. And I’ve spent the last 50 years, intentionally or otherwise, corroborating it wasn't a mere coincidence. So it seemed appropriate to honor my 50th birthday with a quick history lesson. The storm that would eventually become Hurricane Agnes made landfall in... Continue Reading →
I’m sitting in the dark hallway guarding the door, the majority of the contents of the bedroom behind me now littering the second-floor landing. I’m exhausted, with my just-discharged-from-physical-therapy wrist wrapped in ice. I can feel a migraine forming above my left temple, and I’m really hoping the hanger I took to the nose won’t... Continue Reading →
It’s been over a year since I posted anything here, and I don’t really know why. I’m certainly not any less introspective (or bat shit crazy). My life hasn’t suddenly become shitshow-less. If anything, you’d think a global pandemic would be perfect fodder for my musings. Yet while other creatives flourished, as evidenced by the... Continue Reading →
I vividly remember the last time I heard my biological father's voice. It was May, 1998 and I was weeks from graduating law school. I had just come home from class when my then fiancé said that my dad had called. I grabbed the phone to return his call, excited to share my upcoming graduation... Continue Reading →
When I was in 6th grade, one of my best friend's brothers pinned me to the seat of the bus we took to our private Catholic school and dry humped me in front of the entire bus. A year later, two of my classmates held my arms and legs down while a third climbed on... Continue Reading →
Those of you who have the "pleasure" of following me on Snapchat know that one of the unofficial perks of my job is that I'm frequently wined and dined and otherwise spoiled rotten both locally and while traveling for business. I'm routinely invited for meals at restaurants where I'd have to wash dishes for weeks... Continue Reading →
I can count on less than one hand the men in my life with whom I've had so strong a connection that I willingly gave them a piece of myself (whether they knew it or not) without expecting a piece of them in return. They are men who from almost the instant I met them... Continue Reading →
Every Christmas season before this one, getting a tree home and standing was a task I thought needed assistance, be it from an (ex) husband, my dad or a male friend. And, often begrudgingly, I asked for that help. But not this year. This year my girls and I went alone, picked out the perfect... Continue Reading →
I was having lunch a few months ago with a good friend/co-worker (female) and two former colleagues-turned-friends (male) when a curious thing happened. None of us had previously been part of a cloister or lived particularly sheltered lives - we were trial lawyers after all. But despite the collective decades of debaucherous experience sitting around... Continue Reading →
In honor of my girls on Mother’s Day… was the inaugural post of The Sh#tshow Katechisms. It was my first Mother's Day without my daughters, and something inside me that day screamed it was time; that I owed it to them to finally do something with all the thoughts running around inside my head. If you've... Continue Reading →
As I flew home at the ass crack of dawn hungover (or maybe still slightly drunk) after a quick business trip to Kansas City last month, I fought back tears as lyrics to a Dave Matthew's song I'd heard countless times before suddenly committed treason on my unsuspecting heart. I'm really not sure what it... Continue Reading →
When we last left our (mad) social scientist (A little Genghis Kahn: my love/hate relationship with the Alpha Male (Part 1), she had just given Rooster what she thought were his walking papers from the Operation Alpha test group. Thanks to some very poor taking a hint skills, we rejoin our favorite heroine (hey, I write... Continue Reading →
It’s taken me the better part of two decades to fully appreciate this about myself, but the simple fact is I’m attracted to aggressive, confident, successful men. Sure, intelligence, looks, height and (ahem) other sizes are all important. But if I’ve learned anything from the graveyard of exes I’m still digging, the personality traits of the... Continue Reading →
I know “they” say that smell is the strongest of the senses tied to memory. Well “they” have clearly never studied my brain waves while listening to The Verve’s “Bitter Sweet Symphony.” It’s been over three years since I last spoke with him (we’ll call him Devyn), and this was Devyn’s favorite song. And every... Continue Reading →
Imagine standing alone in your bedroom, silently rehearsing dialogue from a fantastical conversation you've written in your head about a yet-to-happen event that is sure to change your life in the most incredible way, all while you're tediously matching freshly laundered socks. OK maybe it's not pairing socks, but washing dishes. Or perhaps you're commuting... Continue Reading →
Hobbling to the subway with a bruised foot, scraped palm and sore elbow, I couldn't help but chuckle at the day's events. Nine hours. In the span of nine hours, I had taken two different (wrong) subway trains, almost fell in the file room when my foot got stuck in my sweater, missed a doctor's appointment... Continue Reading →
While I wouldn't consider myself a social media guru, I undoubtedly have spent more than enough time on the various platforms to have some quasi-meaningful insights and observations about them. So after the countless hours spent promoting events and poking fun at my single girl status, I've decided that Instagram is the one. And I... Continue Reading →
Thanks to all who took time out to post a question! I'm actually surprised they are as tame as they are. Below are answers to some - I've been super busy so I just decided to post what I've answered thus far and I'll finish the rest this week. I've copied the questions directly from... Continue Reading →
As promised, my answers to the questions I skipped the first time... Feel free to ask more - I may make this a regular thing. And if I missed any, let me know! If you had $5 million dollars and couldn’t spend it on yourself what would you do with the $$???? I would make... Continue Reading →
Remember that amusement park ride where you went around in circles, slowly at first and then progressively faster and faster, switching directions halfway through, daringly lifting your arms off the lap bar while riding over arches just steep enough to cause your stomach to flipflop, all set to music as the ride operator-turned-DJ spun the... Continue Reading →
If you've followed me on social media for a hot second, you know that my dating life is nothing if not complicated. What you might not know is that it's been five years since I was in a traditional, committed relationship, and at almost 45 with two marriages under my belt, I'm not exactly chomping... Continue Reading →
I'm just going to put this out there - I like sex...a lot. Frequent toe-curling, dehydration-inducing trysts are a necessity for this girl to be a functioning member of society. And when those are in short order, then batteries replace the Gatorade. As part of my love affair with pursuits of the flesh, I am... Continue Reading →
As a young girl, I remember my mother repeatedly telling me I didn’t need a man in my life. Not to depend on one for anything; to learn to be independent, to choose a career that would allow me to take care of myself financially. It was a recurrent theme for years, and in large part... Continue Reading →
Quinn sobbed, the sound muffled by the bleeding finger in her mouth, her grandmother's vintage vase in pieces on the floor. Hastily trying to clean it up, Quinn had sliced her finger on one of the larger shards. Thankfully she didn't need stitches. But at this point, even a trip to the ER sounded better... Continue Reading →
Let me just get this out of the way. Somehow you found this site and for that, I apologize 😳 Kidding - this site is going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, you'll see. But seriously, whether you came here intentionally or just happened to stumble upon it half lit at 3 am,... Continue Reading →
The Sh#tshow Katechisms 
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